Week 1 – Flowers for friends – who leave

P.N

P.N

Phew.

I just about made it in time, which is probably not a good thing considering that this is just my first week. Still, spirits mustn’t flag so early, and I’m glad I have something to put up here.

So, one of my best friends from college is leaving to Amsterdam, to study fashion, and have what I hope is a ridiculous adventure, filled with things I can’t even dream of back here in sweaty, claustrophobic Bombay. There’s a part of me that  is so thrilled for her, and there’s a part of me that detests that she’s leaving. Goodbyes have never been my forte, and added to that, this signals the end of a chapter of my life that I like to term as ‘pretty cool’.

Nevertheless, she’s leaving and college is over and I’m apparently an adult now. I’ve had a while to get used to that.

I know it isn’t easy for her to leave either, Amsterdam sometimes seems so far away, and such a completely different world! I wish I could tell her convincingly enough, about how inspiring she is, and how I believe that she’s going to do some incredible things there.

I decided to send her a bunch of things before she left, and as I do for every friend who leaves, (wow, I don’t sound pathetic at all) I made her something. A painting. It has a quote on it which is one of my personal favourites. I’m not a quotes person, neither do I enjoy bouquets of flowers. This, however, has always seemed such a simple and lovely thought, that makes me think some extra (and slightly sickeningly) sweet thoughts.

The whole world could be against you, and your happiness. Or maybe you can’t seem to stop ruining all the chances you have at happiness, yourself. Despite all that, despite how terrifyingly cruel a place the world can be, how devastatingly hurtful other people can be, how hopeless your life could seem, there’s also very little that you can do to stop the spring of your life from coming in. Things could be unbelievably awful and unbearable, but there is, without a doubt, a time coming up ahead when you are going to be stupidly, crazily, beautifully, happy. That’s the way the world works, and that’s nothing less than what you deserve.

Thanks for the validation nature, and Pablo Neruda. Good to know you have my back.

Time to stress about what to put up next, and how little time I have left.

Love,

Z.

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Of itches and inspirations.

The rain is beating the ground outside in an annoyingly rhythmic manner. The sky is a insipid, endless stretch of grey, and my mind can’t stop dwelling on the word ‘gloom’.

Anyone who knows me even a little bit, knows of the deep, absolute and hard loathing I have for this kind of weather.

That being put out there,  this evening may really not be the best time to embark on this. Then again, the angsty me that’s so unwilling to let go of college and the ideals of that life, is firmly crowing that there is such a thing as the perfect time to do anything.

I tried to bring this blog back to a vivid and fabulous life once before, and failed in the most spectacular fashion I could’ve imagined. I tried to make this blog the billion things that have inspired me, and to bring here the very best of me, and instead, it turned out to be the very opposite.

At this point, I don’t really know why I’ve been feeling this itch again. The itch to write and have my words judged by strangers.  More puzzling urges have been had though, I imagine, and satisfied too.

And so, I’m going to start posting here again, and bring this blog back to life. Bolster it on a promise to myself, to post once every week for a whole year. Whether a poem or a doodle, every week I’m lucky to spend on this confusing planet, is crazy and difficult and magical and unfair in so many ways, and that’s something that I’ve always felt should be documented.

Very inspired and even more intimidated by the 100 days of creativity challenge, and it’s many variations, I’m now beginning my own little project. To push myself to achieve more, laugh a little at life, and to just create little pieces of me scattered around.

It’s not going to be easy, and I’m brimming with doubt already. At the same time I’m also so, so excited at how much fun this could be.

To small, tentative steps that will hopefully lead me down incredible paths! 🙂