Of Apologies and a City Unexplored


Hello people!

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? What with college and house hunting, it’s been quite hectic – the beginning of my third year at college!

Still, no excuses, I have been a little lazy. With all the confusion regarding my major and plan of action for the future, and the depressing range of houses my budget included, I allowed myself a little too much of lying around wallowing in self pity.

Hopefully, that will change soon! I don’t promise daily posts, but no more taking off for extended periods of time.
I came here to see a flurry of activity had taken place in my absence, and an award as well! So much warm, fuzzy happiness! Seems like this award means I need to fulfill certain things, will get down to it and investigate soon.

I was in Delhi for a month in the summer, working my dream internship. While I loved the work I was doing, the summer lovin’ ended right there. I hated the city, like I’ve never hated a city before. It’s highly probable that that’s because I didn’t get to see much of the city, especially its treats. And it’s well known to have many at offer. But that’s just what got me, the fact that I couldn’t explore it on my own, or even with a girlfriend, because Delhi is so so unsafe for girls, even at the slightest hint of dusk.
And so, I’ve completed my internship, packed my bags, and gratefully returned home to Bombay, without being completely enthralled by Delhi, as I thought I would.

This is a poem I wrote a few days before I left.

Overwhelmed and alone, lost and confused
By your days loud and disorienting, constantly throbbing,
but your nights dark and menacing, a sinister maze
Hurried steps and shifty eyes, fear quickly cementing
the rest simply blurring and congealing into a haze

There’s not a thing I’ll miss about you, Delhi.

Heat so fierce, so attacking
everywhere, always closing in,
hot cheeks, sticky palms, spinning head
Energy drying, excitement fleeing
dull realization and a growing dread

I’ll not miss you, Delhi. Not a bit.

Hard looks from men, always following,
eyes sweeping, lingering, from head to toe
yelled out and whispered, comments and invitations
chopping and hacking, reducing me to an object
an assortment of body parts, curves and proportions

I’m glad it’s over, Delhi, and sad that it’s so
because that isn’t how it should be
fear in my mind, unease in my belly
loss of an identity, crumble of a hope
The end of summer, this farewell will set me free

A little too sad for my liking, but can’t help how you feel, right?

I hope I get to visit Delhi again and explore it and fall head over heels in love with it. I’ve wanted to see Delhi for a long while, ever since I saw little glimpses of it from this:

It could happen, right?

4 thoughts on “Of Apologies and a City Unexplored

  1. Well..you’re right. Delhi is extremely hot. When the sun hits you like a ball of fire, the only thing you want to do is lock yourself in an air conditioned room and NOT go out an exploring the city. Having said that, I’m sure there are several historic places you’d like to visit. I hope you get to travel there soon. You already got your dream job. Let’s hope you get this dream come true as well. Lots of Love and light, Zareen.

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